Friday, June 30

my relationship with a 36-year-old woman

Had another late night Starmart session with Jong. A night like this stresses me and relaxes me too. Hehe. But that's relaxing for the most part.

I love Jong. Our relationship is so rich and enriching. And oh, the relationship is very much platonic; if it's more than that, then it's like a mother-son relationship minus the nagging. :-) The fact that she's twice my age is so negligible. But that makes her wiser than me. And that's actually to my advantage.

Tonight, this was the best lesson of wisdom I learned from her. "Answer only what is asked".

Jong: Dave, you know what fuego means?
Dave: Yes. Fire.

Jong laughed so hard, so it made me think. Of course, I laughed harder. Sometimes I can be so amusing. Thanks to Jong.

I think I also made one philosophical stament tonight. I was chainsmoking and suddenly, unconsciously bit a nail. Me: "Fuck, how redundant."

BTW, the title of this blog is the final title for Jong's biography in progress. Well, not that final. I am thinking of "My relationship with a woman twice my age":-) Love you Jong!

Thursday, June 29

before everything

"I don't want
the world
to see me
Cause I don't think
that they'd understand
When everything's made
to be broken
I just want you
to know
who i am"
Baby, I'd like us to follow our hearts. But would you really want to? Would you want to follow your heart to mine when we both don't know where it is? All I want to do is to give you a key to myself, but I can't find any key. But even if you have me already, will you be able to hold me and let me hold you, too, oblivious to the world around us? Will you not ask your head if you're doing the right thing?

Monday, June 26

dad to a dog

Let me introduce to you,

He is a 4-month-old shih tzu. If you know about dogs, this breed is an ultra-spoiled brat, categorized as a toy dog.

And he really flaunts it.

His mommy (owner) Lenlen, has a class the whole day for her Master's so, I agreed to dogsit Boy George for her.

But it was just more than dogsitting. I admit I am not a dog-lover, or mammal-lover, but this time, there is an exception.
I love Boy George. (His mom prefers Georgie). The whole weekend I devoted my time combing his hair, making him drink, making him eat, playing with him, kissing his nose (yes!), and of course, wiped his pee and pooh-pooh.
He even slept beside me.
Sunday morning. I realized I love this dog (and I'm not doing this for the owner alone, hehe) when Boy George licked my face to wake me up. Isn't that sweet?
So I'd like to be called a Dad to this dog. Not just a dogsitter. (okay, Len?) Hehe.
All the photos here were taken by Lenlen. :-)

Wednesday, June 21

questions about war

Yesterday, the president declared an "all-out-war" against Philippine communist insurgents.

"They want war, so we will give it to them," Arroyo's crony/national security adviser Norberto Gonzales declared with confidence.

What war, I ask? Will the released 1B anti-communist fund buy guns, weapons, bombs and tanks to counter the "enemy"? Will all communist-believing citizens be "terminated"? If my politics is Left, am I counted in as "enemy of the State"? (I didn't know that despite our modern democracy, we can still be persecuted by our beliefs) Would an all-out war mean soldiers carrying armory around the country? Would it see more AFP detachments? Would it see more propaganda against the Reds? Would it see more of Gloria Arroyo's steadfast and strong survivalist strategies?

Dear President GMA, do you even know what an "all-out war" even means?

Shouldn't we now raise this flag?

Sunday, June 18

god i need a massage

can you relate to that good feeling
when you take your shoes off when you get home?
have you ever moaned in relief
when you take a much-needed shower?

i always loved these secret moments
even brief and seemingly temporary
thus in each of these moments
i close my eyes and smile

for i know a minute after next
my head will turn and twist
into a life that overwhelms me
and sucks me into its maze

god i need a massage
one that is long and worthwhile
i need someone to ease me up
and take my doubts all away

i want to throw my head back
and enjoy it slow and soft
i'd like to laugh and cry
to my heart's content

i want to know that there still is
a heart inside my chest
sheer pleasure in the little things
that i see and hear every single day

i want to drop my shoulders
to stop being so tense
to smell good and relax in silence
and to have some fingers feel my skinhead

i'd love to breathe some fresh air
beside a soothing lake or shore
i can even stop the smoking
the drinking and the arguing

i'd like to put away my glasses
and even the mighty earphones
that play my favorite coldplay songs
like god put a smile on your face

this i ask but not expect to be answered
for i know my god you don't send masseurs
to the heathen and the skeptic
who questions even your existence

so i just have to accept, appreciate
the seconds when i pull my shoes off
from my smelly feet and drown myself
and my tears in a lonely bath

that takes twenty-two minutes

Friday, June 16

a cup of coffee despite warnings of rain

The sky is falling
and she doesn't mind
She stirs her coffee
getting lukewarm

It's as if she cannot see
the gathering rainclouds
It's as if she cannot feel
the populating raindrops

She raises her cup
Drinks from it and smiles
She doesn't seem to care
that rain is coming

I can't imagine how it tastes
a cup of coffee under the rain
But I can imagine the caffeine
Two feet away, I can smell it

Makes me want to share
that cup of coffee under the rain
Drink from it and smile
and care not about the wailing sky

Cease to see the clouds unload
Cease to feel the downpour
Cease to care about anything else
getting lukewarm

Tuesday, June 6

looking back

Voice so familiar even from afar
So softly it came calling my name

...I'm not looking back, never looking back

But you were so near whisp'ring in my ear
The stories in your face of a love not to waste

...So I had to look back, but there's none to look back