Monday, November 21

another blog attempt; life's vital statistics

If I remember right this must be the fifth time that I started a blog. The first blog was at the same "blogspot" as this one. The I do not fully recall. To make the long story short, I am again trying to maintain a blog that is supposedly helpful to me.

You see, I need to blurt out. I have so many frustrations and anxieties (did I spell that right) at this moment that I cannot possibly be at peace with my mind. I need to relax, just jot all the way to relief. Can I do that?

Well I'll know, wouldn't I?

Just this afternoon, some teacher asked me "What is life?", a perfect evidence of how cliched class discussions can be. Everybody should give out an answer, I didn't know why. When it was my turn, I said "Life is an art form." To which my teacher reacted subtlely. Perhaps my answer was as trite as her question. I didn't care.

But what struck me at the course of this discussion is the teacher's proposition that life is beautiful and should be kept that way. Of course there are just too many conflicting views regarding that. Consider my other classmates who describe life as "hard", "difficult", "sad", etc. etc. Even I, who said Life as an art and who personally prefers to capitalize the word Life, agree that Life is a disaster. But it is also artistic, no matter the weight of disaster.

Views on life are too varied, so varied that they take on extremes. Take, for example, the famous lines "Life is a box of chocolates (you'll never know what you'll get)" and "Life is a bitch". They don't go well together, don't they? But still, they are widely accepted.

My introspection on the matter made me more confused. Should I be guilty that my life is not as beautiful and happy as others'? Should I cast away the bad images and scents in my life to make it a "bed of roses"?

I hate to say this, but my answer is No. Life is a pretty bitch in a dashing red gown. Life is a hard-coated candy. Life is hard, and you must swallow it hard. Life is only beautiful when Life happened to you.

For me, It's just happening. In this point in my life, I am down, sad, angry, alone, lonely and a complete asshole. But I am Life's number 1 fan. I see it as a Dark Art, one like the Durmstrang students learn in Bulgaria. Or a Potions class. Or an artists' cult. Or those Humanities lessons done in crap. Life is a shitload. I love it.

1 comment:

ledrolen said...

I understand this is a long-time-ago-post and that a comment on this may not matter anymore. The particular events resulting to these outburst may have been answered long time ago too by this little devil attempting to maintain a blog. BUT: let me comment on it anyway.

"LIFE is how we make it--always has been, always will be." I cannot in anyway remember anymore who said that line but somebody added some more words into that statement. Which is: "When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies..." (confusing?!) You see, LIFE is simply the most complicated word ever made to carry on the "time" between conception to death. And whatever happens in between that can either be defined by using any part of speech. You can even say "Life is ouch!"

Teachers are at times enclosed into their own definitions and assumes what they know is right. That can never be changed unless there will be some shift in the system or some psychological awakening to the teachers or all adults about how to treat other people especially those who learn from them. To be careful with what comes out of their very mouth.

This post unleashes so many endless stuff I wanted to say because a TALK on LIFE always hit me home. Yet, I just dropped by this cafe to kill some minutes.

For now, the minutes are gone and I need to go. Moving into my own creative way of living this life.