Funny How My Poet Writes

He tries to write a poem for her
to state his dote and be sweet on.
But funny, how my poet writes:
He jots of love and ends as grim.

He gropes for words that seem just right
to win her heart and then her faith.
But funny, how my poet writes:
He sounds as if he wants her soul instead.

He opted hard to come by light
to reach for her and make her his.
But funny, how my poet writes:
He scares her off and even seethes.

Stranger

Time is up,
so is the Moon.
With all Her might
She beams upon my flight.

But care not,
Her shadows warn:
I came as a Stranger,
as a Stranger I shall depart.

Butchery

You cut my heart
Stabbed, ripped it apart
I watch in agony and in joy…
The sight of it is gory
But still I laugh, and then
I cry

I let it bleed
Let it ooze like red mud
With the stench of spoilt love…
The smell of it is nauseating
But I inhale, and then
I choke

I beg you now
Come hurt me, slay me
Feed on my muddy, bloody heart…
Its taste despicable
But it is real and rich of relish
You thirst for

My chest is open
You slashed it, left it stinking
While knowing that the twin of pleasure –
Its pain – is grave, eternal,
But you so very badly want it,
You want me

DEAD.

((Sound ChecK))

the beat vibrates
and reverberates

shakes my insides
shakes my existence

tries to shun me off
from your quakes

but i'm loving it
and i'm growing

to crave for it
to dance with it

to embrace it
to assimilate

it to my system.
your sound check

turns me on
beat so erotic

beat so strong
beat so brave

beat the beat
beat me

and don't wake me up
from this ear-deafening fantasy

Vashti's Mirror

"To bring Vashti the queen before the king with the crown royal, to shew the people and the princes her beauty: for she was fair to look on."
-Esther 1:11

Mirror, mirror
who's the fairest bunny?

You are, your majesty,
your pubic splendor!

Mirror, mirror
who's the beauteous bunny,
tell me once more?

You are, your highness
you pulchritudinous hetaera
your handsome harlotry!

Mirror, mirror
who's the paragon
of this empire,
the epitome of sovereignity?

Certainly not you, your honor
you're rather a lady
of easy virtue;
a jade among the gems!

enjoy. enjoy.

sing-song
with me along,
skip and dance,
enjoy.enjoy.
hum to the tune
i play so loud,
love the party,
enjoy.enjoy.
let me bring
the clowns inside;
laugh your hearts out,
enjoy.enjoy.
the cakes i bake,
the turkey i roast,
the wines i mix,
enjoy.enjoy.
come on y'all,
'tis hell, hello;
can't you see, dear folks,
enjoy.enjoy.
sing and dance
to the tune
of death,
enjoy.enjoy.
laugh at, love
the clowns
of styx,
enjoy.enjoy.
eat the fruits
of the serpent;
eat,just eat.
enjoy.enjoy.
drink,get high.
fly so fast,
melt the pot.
enjoy.enjoy.
as i hold out
my goddamn dagger
to stab your backs
and cut your necks.
'tis my party.
'tis my joy.
i want you all dead,
enjoy.enjoy.

Why Contemplate

What is there to contemplate about?

Is it why our hearts are made of stone?

Or is it why our love is gone?

Why love?

Why contemplate when we have never loved?

I didn't know there were angels in america

A long week out of blog.

I can just imagine the developments in the last week (Nov25 to Dec5)... Fast-paced, full of changes and challenges. Fcuked up.

Perhaps the best thing that happened was my most recent Awakening: Angels in America.

Like any other Filipino, I have been confused throughout my adolescent life of how I view Americans. I remember learning from grade school the appreciation of the public educational system introduced to the Third World by the Americans. Education for all.

I even speculated that if we have been colonized by the big US of A, we could have been like Hawaii or Guam. It occurred to me, Filipinos can not stand on its own. We could have been better if we submitted to American rule. Tutal, give and take man lang na.

I was also amazed by the American lifestyle and culture (especially teens answering back their parents, hehe), living through Nickelodeon and MTV for the last 8 years of my life. Even until now, I watch HBO, CNN, NGC, channels that showcase (well, most of the time) -- America.

I was also taught the American Dream. The land of the Free. The greener pastures. The green money. I loved the America. I daydreamed about it. Who doesn't love America?

BUT for the last week, the cynic and skeptic in me rose above my dreamy self. I secretly hated (from the root word envied) America. It was and still is an empire. Crushing its way around colonies and neo-colonies (like the Phils), misleading, deceiving, and exploiting the "lesser" countries.

Who gave us the colonial mentality anyway? Who invented globalization?

Now I see that the Americans have become the supervillains (sorry for that so-negative word), or perhaps the Rich who becomes Richer. I see their power and my insides churn at it.

And I do not want to submit.

My American hypnosis was fortunately interrupted. I thanked God (the Philosophy not the Deity, even Him is often Americanized) that I have been disturbed from my Sleep. I now wake up and face the ugly countenance of America.

Credits shall go to where they are due. Thanks to the Wesneco Torch, for injecting the journalistic approach to this Awakening. Thanks to the PADEPA (Pambansa Demokratikong Paaralan) in Bacolod, headed by LFS Negros Organizer Mike de la Concepcion, for sharing to me the secrets of the American education. Thanks to the Adbusters magazines that I loved - they taught me anti-American capitalism and showed to me how sick these American corporates are. And finally, thanks to HBO for Angels in America.

The 6-hour movie series showed me what America really is. (personified by Al Pacino, ehem)

The show deserves a separate study (let me just find that script somewhere) and I will have to to do that analysis on the AIDS-homosexuality-Mormon-or-not theologies side of the production next time. But for now, I must tell anyone, who by any very unlikely twist of fate, is reading this.

Angels in America proved to me there are no "angels" anywhere New York or LA or even Utah.

Fcuk the Americans. It's good I have been awakened in shit. Indeed, it's deep shit now in this country. Blame the Americans. So what if that's finger-pointing?

It's better than pointing my finger up.